PLANADVISER - Winter 2023 - 38

Viewpoints
People-Savvy
How to connect with different personality types
ACCORDING to the Carnegie Institute, only
15% of your success is due to your technical
skills. That's your ability to perform your dayto-day
tasks. The other 85% of your success
as a financial adviser is due to your people
skills-your ability to connect, communicate,
influence and even resolve conflict with people
who are different from you. And that's where
the challenge really comes in. There's a study
showing that people, when interacting with
others, claim to have a bad or uncomfortable
experience over 60% of the time.
Let's say you get talking to the person next
to you on an airplane, and you're not trying to
judge them in any way, but there's something
about them that feels a little off, kind of rubs
you the wrong way. Have you ever felt that
way? Or maybe you met someone for the first
time, and you walked away feeling like, I don't
know what it is about this person.
The study I mentioned shows that it's
natural. But the finding also means that, over
60% of the time, plan sponsors, participants,
and other people too, will feel that way when
interacting with you. And we can't afford to
lose clients because we don't know how best to
interact with them.
As a human behavior expert, I asked why
this discomfort happens so often. What I
realized through my research is that people
operate out of the golden rule when it comes to
our interactions: Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you. The golden rule is great
for teaching foundational respect; however, it
does not apply when we communicate, because
communication is not one size fits all. Rather, I
suggest you use, " the honor rule " : Treat others
as they prefer to be treated.
We can do this by learning to speak the
languages of the four personality styles in a
scientifically proven model of human behavior
called DISC. In this acronym,
the D stands
for Driver, I for I for Inspirer, S for Supporter,
and C for Calculator. By identifying someone's
personality, preferences and peeves, you can
leverage that knowledge to build stronger relationships,
get better outcomes and understand
how the person prefers to make decisions.
How do you know whether you're talking to
a Driver or to another personality style? Listen
to how the person communicates. Drivers and
Inspirers are fast paced, while Supporters and
Calculators are slower paced. This is called
our " motor style. " The best way to build instant
rapport with someone is to match their motor.
Let's take a deeper dive into how to identify
and adapt to each personality style.
Drivers are direct, to the point, and tell it
like it is. They interact this way because they
are wired to get fast results. When you're with
a Driver, speed your pacing up to match theirs,
get to your point in 10 seconds or less, and give
them the Reader's Digest version of your story.
Always show Drivers respect, and they will
respect you in return.
Inspirers are interactive, optimistic and
animated. They relate this way because they're
wired to want their experience with people to
be fun. When you're with an Inspirer, speed
your pacing up to match their motor, provide
a less formal environment, learn to tell a joke
to make them laugh, and keep things positive.
Inspirers loathe negativity and won't like you if
you're constantly complaining.
Supporters are sweet, calm, steady and
always looking for the best in others. They're
wired to build peaceful relationships and
environments. When you're with a Supporter,
slow down your pacing to match theirs, be
patient and allow them to finish their sentence
without interruption, ask about their personal
life more, and be gentle. Above all, do not
gossip around them! If you do, they'll wonder
what you say about them when they're not
around and will stop trusting you.
Calculators are smart, analytical and tend
to speak in facts. They're wired to have quality
conversations. When you're with a Calculator,
slow your pacing to match the person's motor,
allowing time for them to ask more questions,
and make sure you have your facts straight,
otherwise, you will lose their attention.
I believe God didn't make a mistake when
he wired any of us. We'll benefit from knowing
how we are wired to operate and from understanding
our own blind spots.
Betsy Allen-Manning is a leadership speaker, corporate culture expert and
founder of Corporate Culture Training Solutions in Dallas. She specializes in
improving workplace culture and equipping " ready-now leaders " to attract,
engage, motivate and retain talent in a hyper-competitive marketplace.
By identifying
someone's
personality,
preferences
and peeves,
you can
leverage that
knowledge to
build stronger
relationships ...
38 planadviser.com | Winter 2023 | Plan Management
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PLANADVISER - Winter 2023

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